HOW TO GET KIDS TO LIKE GREAT MUSIC
By Kevin Taylor
On a rainy day, what would your child rather do: a) sit inside and listen to J.S. Bach's Golberg Variations, or b) go outside and catch roofwater in his mouth? Those of us with children somewhere in the middle of the bell curve know the answer to that question: the kid is outside with his mouth open and rain in his face.
The issue of leading children to the world of higher music has been addressed in music educational research for over three decades. This literature is replete with investigations into what children like in music, who makes the best musicians and listeners, and what teachers can do, if anything, to influence children's taste. Oddly enough, in these thirty years of articles in the Music Education Journal and the Journal of Research in Music Education, I can recall no study that addresses what can be done by parents to directly influence the development of a child's musical taste even though we parents assume the most responsibility in the matter.
As a music teacher of young people for over twenty years, I have discovered the secret to expanding a child's musical preferences. No, it is not limiting the sounds of your household to classical recordings. The secret to influencing your child's inclination towards higher and more noble music is very simple: get them to make music. Kids like what they can do! Their stylistic preferences tend towards the familiar and what they do is most familiar. Furthermore, as children age from 5 to 12, their specific preferences extrapolate to general style. What this means is, if we wish to open a child's tastes (and that is about all we can hope for) to music of higher value then we should get them making music of higher value at a preadolescent age. A successful applied music education experience is the most effective way to grow a child's musical interest and develop what is known in the music education circles as "open earedness."
Of course, skill on any musical instrument takes time to develop. It is important for parents to involve themselves in every aspect of the child's music education experience for the experience to be successful. This is especially true for younger children (age 5-10) who go through many emotional, physical and cognitive growth stages on the way to becoming skillful musicians. It is difficult for children to cultivate their own talents in the absence of support and models. Their tastes are first formed within the context of the familiar, and family provides the familiar context for your child's talent development. Cultured families raise cultured kids. And a talented child can raise the culture of any family.
It can be difficult for parents to involve themselves in the music education process. An effective involvement style takes awhile to develop. After interviewing over 400 parents whose kids are involved with music lessons, it appears that there are three negative reoccurring factors that affect the motivation development and hence the success of the music education process. These three "motivational herbicides" are force, abandonment and perfectionism. These arise out of past experiences with music lessons and expectations that we parents bring to the educational process which, in turn, form our involvement style.
Often couched in caring term, these three Involvement styles are as follows:
Parents who had little or no musical training as children are often puzzled by their children's response to learning about music. I hear most often from these puzzled parents, "He just doesn't want to practice!" The parents, however, are not seeing the situation from the child's point of view. Why would the poor child want to sit by himself, in an uncomfortable position, at a time convenient for the parent, and play his 20 seconds worth of material for an hour (while being reminded how much it is costing)?
Adults who have never learned what it takes to practice a musical instrument often force unrealistic practice habits upon their child. "Go to your room and practice" are not words your child is likely going to cherish hearing. The hour-a-day method of practice can change a prescription for growth into a prison sentence in the mind of the child. Unless you wish to be a warden, I would suggest avoiding those words. The great music educator,
Shinichi Suzuki, recommended playing only "two minutes a day...with love." The greatest challenge for such a parent is to encourage the child to practice, and the simplest and most effective way for a parent to do this is to ask the child to play for him or her. If a parent can take the time to listen attentively, appreciatively and without criticism each day, the child will take the time to play. This is the easiest and most effective way to bring music-making and listening into the culture of your household.
Perhaps you were forced to take music lessons as a child. You remember what the years of forced piano lessons were like, and are determined not to repeat the situation with your own children. A little voice will whisper, "If he doesn't want to practice don't make him." But the reality is that all children desire things -- including skill -- and they need help in learning how to get these things. Abandoning or isolating the child with only his or her immature aspiration to learn is a sure way to extinguish the desire. Children need the detailed guidance and structuring of their time necessary to show them how to reach their goals. I have never heard anyone say, "I wish my parents didn't make me brush my teeth when I was young. I would appreciate brushing so much more now." However, I have heard many parents say, "I wish my parents would not have let me give up music when I was a child." Parents who are involved with their children in the music education process have already discovered that buying the instrument was the easy part. Sticking with the ups and downs of a skill development program is much more difficult. Commitment is necessary -- more so for the parent than the child. If you think you don't know how to help your child without force, here are helpful suggestions:
1) Teach your child how to work playing into his or her lifestyle without giving up other enjoyments;
2) Be available to the student when he or she practices;
3) Bring the child out into the living room or kitchen to play;
4) Know the details of the pieces he or she is working on and help guide
the realistic day-to-day goals.
It is difficult for anyone, let alone a child, to learn within a structure of perfect expectations, where the product of music takes priority over the process of learning. Parents must involve themselves without creating tension. The way to do this, as hard as it may be, is to avoid becoming the teacher and be a supportive, dumb parent.
Parents should let the instructor assume the role of the teacher, and allow their roles to be the nurturing Mom or Dad. Kids with short tempers and low frustration levels -- suspiciously common traits among bright children in families of high achievers -- especially appreciate recognition of their hard work. It is best to defer conflict to the class, and let the child become the expert at home. Children who live in environments of high expectations do extremely well when music is allowed to become a source of parental pride and nurturing rather than parental scrutiny.
These are the insidious parental threats to long-term motivation in children -- force, abandonment, and perfectionism. Every child I have ever taught has had to deal with these parental challenges occasionally. Children are born with only the seeds of artistry and talent. Those seeds must be cultivated. The successful students and parents are those who have used teamwork and "timework," respect, humility, good humor, clear structure and
honest communication with each other to overcome the obstacles that inhibit the growth of those beautiful seeds of musical interest that sprout in children.
Kevin Taylor is the Founder of The Childbloom Guitar Program.
Address all comments to him at: childbloom@aol.com. |